marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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