I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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