You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she told me i tasted like america
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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