Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize