i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't deserve a penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
