new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
