The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
