i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My feet surprised me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
