So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This can only be settled by a dance off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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