We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
