So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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