I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
