He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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