She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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