apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
