her vagine was all disorganized.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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