I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
