So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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