She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
