no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
