Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize