Got a toothbrush?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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