The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
