so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
