Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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