Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
