No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
