I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
