beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
