I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
