OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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