i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
