do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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