I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
