well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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