Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
