Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
