At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
