sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
