The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
