Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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