either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
