Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
