all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
