im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
