i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
