4 words: hood of his car
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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