My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Two words: blizzard sex
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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