I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
operation have a gay friend backfired
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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