ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
