Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I smell stomach acid.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
