Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
