new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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