He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
