I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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