sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
