I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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